I perpetually disappoint my mother by not going to all the big family things, but at least she's realized that I'm really not a fan and so only really pushes for it occasionally.

Driving 8 hours to cold and unpleasant PA every Thanksgiving for your entire childhood to visit your relatives with no kids you get along with (which, to be fair, is pretty much all kids when you're a young nerd) is really excellent conditioning for not being interested in family events.

Maybe you could say that unclenomer laid down the law and wants you for him and the boys over the holidays. Then he can claim the same about you when necessary. ;)